Where Have You Been

Glad you asked! To much to write about at the moment. But to sum a few things up, I started a new job at the middle school and it’s taking a lot of my time. I’m still driving the bus, so that makes me working like 12-14 hours days. I’m going to do this for a little while. At least until I burn out. Afterwards, I’ll hopefully have some bills paid off and then I’ll return to school full time and just driving the bus.

I’ve been tagged by my wonderful friend Kathy T. The MEME is that I need to name three things I need to let go of. That could be easy, but I’m not sure how much I want to talk about on some of the things I should let go. So lets start shall we?

One thing I need to let go of is my mom’s death. At times, I feel as though she was taken way to soon. I feel that I didn’t have enough time with her. Also, another thing I should let go of is the anger I have for me father.  He was never around unless he was drunk.  The last thing I should let go of is my dirty office.  It’s really the worst part of my house.  I mean come on, why am I keeping it like this?

My mom’s death is still hard to think about.  They say it gets easier to deal with, but let me tell you, it’s not.  I miss her so much.  I was just getting to know her when she was taken from me.

My fathers alcoholism could have been a result of my parents divorce.  However, I seem to remember pieces of my early childhood that he was always drunk.  I have to admit though, these days he’s a recovering alcoholic and I should try to work on our relationship some.

Words can’t explain enough as to why I need to let go of this dirty office, it’s not very productive, so here’s a picture.

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As you can see, I have a lot to let go of.

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3 Comments on “Where Have You Been”

  1. Ginger Says:

    I’ve missed you! Just remember that there is no “prescribed formula” for grieving. I lost my dad way too young 15 years ago, and I still have moments. They get farther between, but they still come along every once in awhile.

    I say that to remind you not to be hard on yourself.

    Take care of YOU! 🙂

  2. Nathan Says:

    I was wondering what happened to my buddy 🙂 I’m glad you’re still around. Sounds like a busy schedule. It can take a lot out of you. Be sure to set aside a little personal time for yourself too. It will help you from losing your mind when you get overwhelmed 🙂

    Getting over an unexpected death can be a very long process, and is magnified when it’s a parent…As well as getting over resentment for an alcoholic parent.

    The bad news is that some people carry that pain their entire life, and when they are 70 years old, they look back and realize they didn’t live to the fullest because the pain held them back. I’m not saying that’s you, I’m just saying don’t let it become you. 🙂

    Your office doesn’t look dirty to me. It just looks like your average office. But if it bugs you, make Sunday a clean up day. I always feel better after cleaning up a space.

  3. Kathy T. Says:

    I’m with Nathan. Your office doesn’t look dirty at all. If that’s what you classify as messy, you can NEVER come to my house. hahaha!


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